The best April Fools jokes you may have missed
From square-bracketed Clojure to Jira Jr. to killer robots, we round up yesterdays funniest fake coding news stories.
You probably caught Google Nose, Reddit’s purchase of Team Fortress 2 and Twitter’s removal of vowels, among hundreds of other witty jokes in celebration of April Fools’ Day. But with so many companies leaping on the bandwagon, it’s easy to miss a few. Here’s JAXenter’s favourites.
Clochure – “A better Clojure”
What’s holding Clojure back from total dominance? Its parentheses, of course. Clochure replaces these with square brackets, meaning that “tons of Objective-C developers that can jump straight away to work in your startup code”.
Google Apps Levity Algorithm
Google produce so many April Fools’ jokes each year that it’s difficult to keep up. An easily-missed gem from Google Apps is the Levity Algorithm, a new feature (presented by Steven Yeun from The Walking Dead) that allows boring bosses to liven up their dreary meetings, emails and presentations with a click of a button.
Atlassian this year got on board with the ‘getting kids coding’ movement, announcing JIRA Jr. – a version of their JIRA software designed specifically for kids. Claims the video: “It makes scheduling projects, writing requirements, assigning tasks and tracking progress fun!”
Speaking of issue trackers, some punk filed a ticket in the Python system requesting that the language “have all core library modules imported by default” and “all third-party modules” to boot. Other useful suggestions include: “Can we put an & and a $ somewhere in Python? I think these feel very cool to use, and are easily one of the best things I miss from more advanced languages like C and PHP.”
ZeroTurnaround’s open source hardware
If you couldn’t get enough of ZeroTurnaround’s spirited rendition of ‘Call Me Maybe’ last month, you’ll love their false news report announcing the next stage in CEO Jevgeni Kabanov’s world domination plan. The video is complemented by a GitHub repo of open-source designs for humanity-enslaving giant robots. There’s no need to worry, though, as they explain: “How can you fear open source? Everyone loves it! And you’ll learn to love us and see us less as dictators and more as your family.”
Nb: The teaser picture for this article was taken from ZTA’s GitHub repo. We’re not sure what it means, either.
Of all of yesterday’s jokes? This was surely the cruellest.
Oracle decides Java shouldn’t be a delivery mechanism for Ask Toolbar anymore.Just kidding.#AprilFools— RSnake (@RSnake) April 1, 2013