The very best developer April Fools
A strangely active Sunday for stories can only be down to one thing – April Fools Day. Here’s a collection of the best japes…
It can’t have escaped your attention that for a quiet Sunday
there were a lot of developments within the developer world. But
upon closer expection and annoyingly for the writing team, it
appeared that everyone was in on the April Fools act.
There’s been enough tech blunders over the years and we
shouldn’t have been caught off-guard by the latest array of
jesting. We’ve scoured the Google Reader for the very best (that
unashamedly almost caught us out) and have collated them for you to
have a quick chuckle.
ZeroTurnaround launches new
JVM language: Frostbyte
We knew treachery was afoot when the guys behind JRebel claimed
Frostbyte was ‘born out of frustration of working
with the standard Java software stack and tools’. Frostbyte’s key
features include ‘the use of inverse reverse Polish notation
with parentheses’ which of course makes things miles easier with
its ability to understand any world language (with Estonian as the
default). It’s clearly going to be the next Java.
Hopefully this language will be the long awaited answer to the
myriad of JVM languages that have hit the streets in the past
couple of years. With some confidence, we believe that Frostbyte
will solve both social and engineering problems that software
developers have to deal with.
The roadmap is even laid out with all the following planned:
- First class co-monads
- Kabanov-Raudjärv type
- Lazy chunks
- goto statement with labels
Nice try guys, a very witty April Fool!
Windows Phone 8 will be
based on Eclipse technology
All credit to Andrey Loskutov for
the exhaustive backstory to
this one. The premise – the Eclipse godfather Erich Gamma’s
move to Windows Visual Studio causing a domino effect within
Microsoft that would ultimately lead to Windows Phone 8
OS being based on e4 (SWT QT port) and
next the Visual Studio
11 release will be based on Eclipse
Wacky yes. Expertly thought out yes.
But well worth a read.
Oracle adds Goto for the
Java Programming Language
Even Oracle joined in on the fun with
Darcy using his blog to try and convince us that concessions
had been made to finally allow the ‘goto’ JEP to enter JDK 8. We
ain’t falling for that one, especially when it’s endorsed by Edsger
Dijkstra, whose paper A
Case Against the GO TO Statement is quite well known as
being the predominant text that bashes goto.
offers numerous benefits to the Java platform, from increased
expressiveness, to more compact code, to providing new programming
paradigms to appeal to a broader demographic.’
Other ribs included:
‘As a living language, the needs
of the growing Java community today should be used to judge what
features are needed in the platform tomorrow; the language should
not be forever bound by the decisions of the past.’
Nice try, but there would be
mortal outrage if goto was included in Java.
Walken On Rails
Ok, not strictly Java here but well
worth your time anyway.
The guys at Collective Idea certainly pulled off a coup
attracting Academy Award Winner, Christopher Walken to for their
A passable Walken impression and the
fact that they thought of this makes it even funnier. Comparing
MongoDB to a polo shirt gets big laughs as well.
Keep Calm and Use
Probably our favourite one this by
Their post ‘The Truth about Scala’ details the seven
stages a Scala programmer goes through when learning the
A brilliantly funny piece playing upon
certain developers’ qualms about the language, resolving with the
image above as No.7.
We especially like the line –
‘The programmer who could implement the trait has committed
Haskell-kiri. Scrum masters are seriously considering a ritual
That rounds up our favourite fools
for 2012 – have you found one that caught you out? And yes, it
would be awkward if one we said wasn’t actually an April Fool. Tell