The very best developer April Fools
A strangely active Sunday for stories can only be down to one thing – April Fools Day. Here’s a collection of the best japes…
It can’t have escaped your attention that for a quiet Sunday there were a lot of developments within the developer world. But upon closer expection and annoyingly for the writing team, it appeared that everyone was in on the April Fools act.
There’s been enough tech blunders over the years and we shouldn’t have been caught off-guard by the latest array of jesting. We’ve scoured the Google Reader for the very best (that unashamedly almost caught us out) and have collated them for you to have a quick chuckle.
ZeroTurnaround launches new JVM language: Frostbyte
We knew treachery was afoot when the guys behind JRebel claimed Frostbyte was ‘born out of frustration of working with the standard Java software stack and tools’. Frostbyte’s key features include ‘the use of inverse reverse Polish notation with parentheses’ which of course makes things miles easier with its ability to understand any world language (with Estonian as the default). It’s clearly going to be the next Java.
Hopefully this language will be the long awaited answer to the myriad of JVM languages that have hit the streets in the past couple of years. With some confidence, we believe that Frostbyte will solve both social and engineering problems that software developers have to deal with.
The roadmap is even laid out with all the following planned:
- First class co-monads
- Kabanov-Raudjärv type inference
- Lazy chunks
- goto statement with labels
Nice try guys, a very witty April Fool!
Windows Phone 8 will be based on Eclipse technology
All credit to Andrey Loskutov for the exhaustive backstory to this one. The premise – the Eclipse godfather Erich Gamma’s move to Windows Visual Studio causing a domino effect within Microsoft that would ultimately lead to Windows Phone 8 OS being based on e4 (SWT QT port) and next the Visual Studio 11 release will be based on Eclipse 4.2.
Wacky yes. Expertly thought out yes. But well worth a read.
Oracle adds Goto for the Java Programming Language
Even Oracle joined in on the fun with Joseph Darcy using his blog to try and convince us that concessions had been made to finally allow the ‘goto’ JEP to enter JDK 8. We ain’t falling for that one, especially when it’s endorsed by Edsger Dijkstra, whose paper A Case Against the GO TO Statement is quite well known as being the predominant text that bashes goto.
gotoconstruct offers numerous benefits to the Java platform, from increased expressiveness, to more compact code, to providing new programming paradigms to appeal to a broader demographic.’
Other ribs included:
‘As a living language, the needs of the growing Java community today should be used to judge what features are needed in the platform tomorrow; the language should not be forever bound by the decisions of the past.’
Nice try, but there would be mortal outrage if goto was included in Java.
Walken On Rails
Ok, not strictly Java here but well worth your time anyway. The guys at Collective Idea certainly pulled off a coup attracting Academy Award Winner, Christopher Walken to for their Screencast series.
A passable Walken impression and the fact that they thought of this makes it even funnier. Comparing MongoDB to a polo shirt gets big laughs as well.
Keep Calm and Use Clojure
Probably our favourite one this by Cake Solutions. Their post ‘The Truth about Scala’ details the seven stages a Scala programmer goes through when learning the language.
A brilliantly funny piece playing upon certain developers’ qualms about the language, resolving with the image above as No.7.
We especially like the line – ‘The programmer who could implement the trait has committed Haskell-kiri. Scrum masters are seriously considering a ritual Kanban sacrifice.’
That rounds up our favourite fools for 2012 – have you found one that caught you out? And yes, it would be awkward if one we said wasn’t actually an April Fool. Tell us below…