Round-up

The best April Fools’ jokes you may have missed

Elliot Bentley
zeroturnaround-robot

From square-bracketed Clojure to Jira Jr. to killer robots, we round up yesterday’s funniest fake coding news stories.

You probably caught Google Nose, Reddit’s
purchase of Team Fortress 2
and Twitter’s
removal of vowels
, among hundreds of other witty jokes in
celebration of April Fools’ Day. But with so many companies leaping
on the bandwagon, it’s easy to miss a few. Here’s JAXenter’s
favourites.

Clochure
– “A better Clojure”

What’s holding Clojure back from total dominance? Its
parentheses, of course. Clochure
replaces these with square brackets, meaning that “tons of
Objective-C developers that can jump straight away to work in your
startup code”.

Google Apps Levity Algorithm

Google Apps

Google produce so many April Fools’ jokes each year
that it’s difficult to keep up. An easily-missed gem from Google
Apps is the
Levity Algorithm
, a new feature (presented by Steven Yeun from
The Walking Dead) that allows boring bosses to liven up
their dreary meetings, emails and presentations with a click of a
button.

Jira Jr.

Jira Jr

Atlassian this year got on board with the ‘getting
kids coding’ movement, announcing JIRA Jr. – a version of their
JIRA software designed specifically for kids. Claims the video: “It
makes scheduling projects, writing requirements, assigning tasks
and tracking progress fun!”

Python snarkiness

Speaking of issue trackers, some punk filed a ticket in the
Python system requesting that the language “have all core library
modules imported by default” and “all third-party modules” to boot.
Other useful suggestions include: “Can we put an & and a $
somewhere in Python?  I think these feel very cool to use, and
are easily one of the best things I miss from more advanced
languages like C and PHP.”

ZeroTurnaround’s open source hardware

ZeroTurnaround

If you couldn’t get enough of ZeroTurnaround’s
spirited
rendition of ‘Call Me Maybe’
last month, you’ll love their

false news report
announcing the next stage in CEO Jevgeni
Kabanov’s world domination plan. The video is complemented by a
GitHub
repo
of open-source designs for humanity-enslaving giant
robots. There’s no need to worry, though, as they explain: “How can
you fear open source? Everyone loves it! And you’ll learn to love
us and see us less as dictators and more as your family.”

Nb: The teaser picture for this article was taken
from ZTA’s GitHub repo. We’re not sure what it means,
either.

And finally…

Of all of yesterday’s jokes? This was surely the
cruellest.

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